During my three months at Kirkwood, I learned a few handy reading tricks. Before you start to read a new text of some sort, it's good to first scan the text for main points and/or things that you can relate to other things you know about. Afterwards, still before reading the text, it's good to stop and think about other things of that subject matter that you can recall. Comparing things that you're about to learn about or experience to previous events makes everything easier. Feels smoother when you're able to anticipate something you'll need to put focus on.
I think we do this naturally in life. Trying to draw comparisons to songs we hear, books we read, shows and movies we see. I know I even do it between other people. I think at this point I've probably catorgorised everybody I meet into one or two of about a dozen different labels. I've been working on expanding that recently by acknowledging it. At the same time, it definitely seems to be the case so often, that you can tell the way a person acts by the way the present themselves. Whether that be the words they speak, or the clothes they wear.
I came to the realization this week that I've been looking for more drama in my life. That can mean a few different things, good and bad, but mostly just means I'm bored. The fact that I'm bored is more prevalent.
A cute girl outside to smoke shop today asked me if I could buy her a couple packs of cigarettes. In hindsight, I could have gotten myself some smokes from her cash or taken her cash. After she asked, we just kind of looked at each other for a second. This wasn't a sort of mutual thought or anything like that. She was probably thinking something about the way she looked, or something about me, or what she'd do after I said yes. I was thinking about why'd she even ask me. Obviously she's not eighteen, so now what? Well she's definitely expecting an answer. I better just say no before she rebuttals and sells me on it. The fact is that I'm easily influenced in situations that make me come off as helpful. As I said no, I sold myself on the reason that I didn't want to encourage her and her friends to be smoking cigarettes. What a joke though. I don't feel as if it's my responsibility to be the disabler in her life, nor do I even care whether she's smoking or not.
I don't feel good or bad about myself for not buying a minor tobacco. If I had a more clear mind about all the subject matter that went into the situation though, I imagine I'd make the same decision. Batman says, "It's not what's underneath, but what you do that matters.". I buy into that quote. I bet if Jesus was alive, he would compare a lot of his life with Batman's story.
When life confronts you, you're forced to define yourself just a little more. Without so much life happening since I've been in CO, I'm going to be making something happen soon. I feel a lot of my personal character developing every day. Last week, two times I thought to myself how happy, even euphoric, I felt. Some of the people I've been talking to though, the situations I'll be putting myself in soon. It doesn't feel like The Great Gatsby anymore.
Subject: More like Shameless mixed with Inception 
